HOW MOBILE PHONES BREAK RELATIONSHIPS
When was the last time you had a conversation with a friend without phone beeps interrupting? Did you enjoy it better? Regardless of age, gender or mood, you will notice that the quality of interaction is better without phones. This is something we will have to talk about.
Nothing kills a conversation faster than pulling out a mobile phone during an ongoing chat. Being attached to your phone can most likely sabotage your communication with the people you care about.
There’s an irony in phubbing (habit of snubbing someone in favor of a mobile phone); when we fiddle or stare at our phones, we are often connected with someone on social media or texting or even flipping through our pictures to connect with or relive memories with other people. Unfortunately, this can severely disrupt our present moments, in-person relationships, which also tend to be our important ones.
Most people tend to operate their mobile phones while conversing with their loved ones, and this often times conflicts in relationships. From experience, we can agree that real-life interactions are “dulled” when a person feels the urge to check their phone it can sometimes be seen as less polite and less attentive.
According to Mark Peter, a colleague in school who I interacted with; “I feel cheated on each time I’m having a conversation with my girlfriend and she keeps concentrating at her phone, smiling to it, making me feel like I’m not there, whereas it’s just the two of us, I’m so done with all these!!! She can move on with the mobile phone she loves so much and devote her attention more to it.”
The effect of mobile phone on relationship is powerful. With its many advantages, it also has disadvantages; in a world where our mobile phones are the first and last thing we see every morning and night, it is not too difficult to access the level of influence it has on our daily lives.
A communication expert and author, Leslie Shore warns that “…relationship online can hurt your relationship offline, and can also make us less able to communicate. If this becomes the new NORMAL, building strong, deep relationships will take more time and will be more difficult to maintain.”
When we are constantly tied to our phones; checking work emails, news alerts, or simply scrolling through social media, it’s imperative that we learn to balance this with offline time with our loved ones. Shore adds that “The hold our phones have on us is invisible until someone actively calls to our attention the fact that we are paying more attention to the device than the person with whom we are conversing”. It is almost impossible to create or enhance relationships when mobile phone is in the first place, taking our time and attention away from who is in front of us. So how do we keep our relationships strong in the age of technology-phones-(social media)? Take Shore’s advice on how mobile phone affects relationships — and what we can do to fix it.
While the overuse of mobile phones at any stage of a relationship can have negative effects, Shore argues that it’s worse in the early stages, “At the beginning of a relationship, we attend to the other person because we want to get to know them…We listen to their likes and dislikes, history, family dynamics, dreams, and fears. We spend hours in conversation, discovering each other. No fact too small, no story too long. The building of the relationship has newness and surprises. During this time, it is critical that cellphones are out of sight while in conversation to ensure total concentration on the other.”
While there is always risk in navigating mobile phones (social media conclusively) and relationships, there are also ways to ensure that your communication stays strong, Stay truly connected to those who matter.
Try to have a conversation with a friend without the distraction of the mobile phone and tell us how it feels like. Do you even think this is possible? We want to hear your thoughts.
